Photo credit to: Jo Shanahan Photography
Both are such difficult topics that people in our lives tend to avoid, not because they are callous but because they don’t know what to say.
If you are supporting someone experiencing infertility, please seek to understand first. Increase your awareness on the topic and be compassionately curious. If they give you an opening to explore the topic, be sure to ask questions, to listen to understand, not listen to reply. Really listen, let them talk. Some simple open-ended questions to get started may be:
- How are you?
- How can I support you?
- What can I do to help?
- Would you like to talk more about it?
Whatever you do, keep any judgment and sweeping comments to yourself. Resist the good old clichés like “stay positive.” You don’t need to have any answers or stories, there is no ‘right’ thing to say. The greatest gift you can give them is to listen and have an open heart.
If a friend opens up to you about pregnancy loss, say “I’m so sorry for your loss” and give them a hug (if you feel comfortable to do so). That’s it, no other comments or suggestions are needed. You can use the same questions above if it feels right to do so. Again, be available to listen.
You might assume your friend knows where to go for additional or professional support, but they may not. Click here for links to organisations you can direct them to for information and support. It could be exactly what they need.
Much love, B x
The information provided in my blog is not from a registered nurse, or medical professional, nor from tertiary or professional qualifications surrounding infertility, pregnancy, motherhood or mental health. It is based on lived-experiences and learned awareness surrounding my own journey to and through motherhood. It is in no way intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice. Please contact a qualified medical professional for advice and treatment.